Not Gonna Happen

November 2014

I was hosting an essential oil class in a couple of days. I wanted to give my guests a little something made with EOs to take home. In the past, I made bath salts. It's just my speed. Epsom salts, a little baking soda and a few drops of oil in a jar. Boom. Done.

But my friend Dawn had me at her oil class and she gave away some really healthy and delicious homemade throat lozenges. And a recipe. Ok, I can do this. There are only 2 ingredients plus a few oils! I bought the candy thermometer. I was ready to go.

Lainie was helping me. Doing most of the work actually. So that left me free to take some pics. "This is cool" I thought. This looks like a cooking show. Maybe I could blog about this experience. I could be the next Pioneer Woman. I will take gorgeous pictures and people will follow me. I will write a cookbook. I will be rich and famous!

Wow that looks so professional!

Lainie helped me with the stirring which took forever. But then she left me. Abandoned me. I had to finish stirring and it was not fun.  I mean, it's been at 275 degrees for, like, 16 hours.  Where is 300?  Is this ever gonna happen?

OK, a little less professional.

 Dawn said it was easy.  Just dump a bag of powdered sugar on a cookie sheet, make craters in it for the candy and pour it in.

OK back on track.  This looks helpful and educational.

I found some pics on the internet for reference.  These are gonna be so beautiful!

This one is from a food blogger.  Like me!

Well. I poured. I missed. The liquid was stringy and stretchy.  This looks nothing like the video of lozenge making that I watched on YouTube. These things look nothing like Dawn's lozenges. I kept trying. But apparently lozenge making is not my thang.   As you can see.

Umm, yeah.  Those are gonna poke someones soft palette and they will hate me.

I did not take any pictures of the hardened-like-glass mixture that spilled from the pot onto my stove and took me 15 minutes to chisel off with a butter knife.  Or of my counters with the same.  Or of the pot, the 3 different containers I tried to pour this stuff from.  Or the spoons, toothpicks, knives, forks...all covered with shellac, it seemed.

Pioneer Woman, you are safe. For now.