Black Hole

Feb. 2016

Some things are overwhelming and private and full of stigma, so we keep them to ourselves.  But at church the other day, the message was all about how God can take your terrible story and use it to help someone else.  I'm a sucker for helping someone else, so I am going to tell you a story.

First things first: if you are even reading this, it's because I asked Lea if I could write about it.  I wouldn't publish the blog without her reading it first and giving me permission.

A bit of background in case you don't know my family.  Lea is 21 and has Down syndrome. She is very active and just fun to be around!  She brings a smile to your face when she sees you! She is in a public school program that offers job training and life skills to adults with special needs.  While she doesn't have bad behavior issues, she does get herself involved in some drama at school that we could all do without.  She is very sensitive to other people's feelings and wants to please everyone.  These 2 things (drama mixed with wanting to please) have gotten her into some sticky situations.  She often feels very pressured by other students and allows them to make decisions for her.  In the last several months especially, she has come home very upset and crying.  But people get upset and cry sometimes.

We thought Lea was being a bit too dramatic, dragging things out that aren't even her problems.  So when she came to us with feelings of self-harm, we were quite shocked.  A young woman with Down syndrome? Hurting herself on purpose? No.  That doesn't happen!  We made an appointment with a new therapist since her former one "released" her awhile ago.  (We have a murder in the family that has taken much therapy these past 4.5 years).  We knew she should talk to someone.  We still weren't grasping the gravity of the situation.  The earliest appointment we could get was 3 weeks away, but that flew by as we were packing and moving.  Just a couple days before her appointment, she threatened to hurt herself again.  Admittedly, our reaction was not great.  Again, she has Down syndrome.  This doesn't happen to people with DS!  I have read a ton in the last 21 years about DS and what it comes with.  I have never read about situations like this.

Imagine our surprise when the new therapist not only diagnosed Lea with depression, but said she was on the verge of needing to be hospitalized to keep her safe!  I certainly lost it then.  I wouldn't say I didn't believe she was sad.  I just didn't realize it was so REAL.  I didn't realize the depth of her pain.  "It's like I'm in a black hole," she says.  The therapist decided that a hospital stay would be pretty scary for Lea, so she put her in our care with instructions to hide all the sharp objects in our home and not leave her alone at all.  Ummm.  If you haven't been in this situation, can you just think about that for a sec? The weight of that? (If you have been here, then you already know.)

Lea went to a local mental health facility for 7 school days instead of school.  She was with the adults in their program.  I know she heard some pretty adult stuff and problems from the other women.  But she did learn some good coping mechanisms and got some tools to learn how to handle her feelings.  She also got a prescription and that made ME very unhappy.  I hate drugs and chemicals.  Have you read the side effects of this stuff? It's just as scary as depression.  It can make it WORSE!!  WTH.  When I say that having her on this drug causes me anxiety, I am not exaggerating.  I spent years getting toxins out of my kids' systems and treating them with oils and homeopathy instead.  Don't make me put this crap in her body!  (and before you say "if she had diabetes and needed meds, would you be upset then?" YES I WOULD.  She is still on thyroid meds and it makes me upset.  Oils have halved her dose, and I am still working on getting rid of that medicine completely.)  There is a time and a place for drugs and when used on a temporary basis, they can be helpful.  But how many people are on drugs for depression just temporarily? Have we seen her mood improve? Yes.  But with several very unpleasant side effects.

The few people that knew about this have been so supportive and kind!  I get calls, texts, and even dinner made by a friend while we were in the depths of this!  I know we will receive more support once "the whole world" (aka Facebook) knows about it.  It's hard to share when it's depression or another mental illness.  I don't think there should be a stigma surrounding it, but there IS.  But if I hadn't shared with a few people, I wouldn't have had the support.  Lea wouldn't have had some people tell her "I struggle with that, too." I also am not ready to be a champion for this cause.  There are several things I preach about regularly including Down syndrome and how to make the world a better place by embracing it!  I knew that if I let everyone know about this, I will need to be ready for people to send me articles and maybe expect me to speak out about DS and depression.  I am writing this, and that is all I can handle right now.  It's too new and I am not ready to be the spokesperson for it.  Still, I need to tell the story.  And people need to know that reaching out for help is the best thing to do.

Our girl is hurting and it makes us hurt, too.

The point of this whole post is to let others know that depression can happen to anyone.  It doesn't matter if you are viewed as the "happiest person" I ever met.  Or if you have Down syndrome.  It's real and it can do such harm.  If Lea's story can help anyone, and I think it can, I want to share it.  And she wants to share it.

It's a big, scary world out there.  Just knowing others feel like you do can be comforting.

Sunburned Heart

July 27, 2015

It was on this day 4 years ago that we said goodbye to my niece Megan.  She would finally have some peace.

Almost 3 months prior, she lay sleeping in her bed early one morning.  Her father, who adored her for her 20 years, succumbed to what I can only believe is some sort of untreated mental illness, and beat her in the head with a baseball bat.

I know, it's hard to imagine.  You may even stop reading this, as the thought is unbearable.  Especially if you are a parent.

She lay in a coma for a long time, disfigured, unrecognizable except by her pretty purple nail polish.  She fought hard, she was a fighter.  A terrible infection.  Unimaginable injuries.  Many surgeries, including some that removed much of her brain tissue.

She was taken off life support and was let go.  Except that stinker hung on for 2 weeks!  I told you she was a fighter.  There was a sense of peace when she finally passed away.  Although as strange as it sounds, there was a part of me that still imagined she could recover.  She may never be the same, but we could all help care for her.  I thought I would be more relieved to know she wasn't suffering anymore.  But the finality of it was hard.

So, as you can imagine, this changed my family in ways too numerous to count.  In ways we are still discovering.  Therapy for me and my children has been very helpful.  But this is etched in our lives now.  It's a part of us.

Since it's been 4 years, and life goes on, there have been many times when I don't think about this every single day.  Almost every day, but sometimes I am going along with my busyness and I forget this wound is there.  It's like a sunburn.  It doesn't always hurt every minute, but you forget it's there and scratch it and BOOM you feel the pain.  I was feeling pretty normal awhile back.  No disturbing images in my brain of how Megan looked after this attack.  I was in even Pontiac, the city where her first hospital was.  Where she went to the ER and then stayed for about 2 months.  I had driven by here a hundred times since then and was fine.  But this one night, Brad had a band gig near the hospital.  We were driving home, and he drove a different route near the hospital.  I have no idea why this affected me.  I had a breakdown, sobbing.

Then there was the time we were going to binge watch The Walking Dead.  Violent TV shows have not been a good idea for me since this.  But it's zombies, right?  Totally fake!  I can take it.  Well, episode 1 starts.  I am not loving the gore, but try to stick with it.  Try to be normal.  Most of America watches and loves this show, I tell myself.  Then out comes the hero to fight off a zombie.  With a baseball bat.  He raises it above the zombies head.  And I hyperventilate.  Run upstairs sobbing, barely able to breathe.  Poor Brad, he was just at a loss.  He kept apologizing.  He just held me until I calmed down.  Needless to say, I have never seen another minute of that show.

There are so many times when someone jokingly says something about beating someone with a bat.  I know you may not believe that, but it's true.  They don't mean anything by it and have no idea about my sunburned heart.  It was fine a minute ago, but you just scratched it unknowingly with your words, bringing those images back up in my brain.

It's 4 years later, FOUR FREAKING YEARS.  And I cannot LOOK at a bat without thinking about this.  Our daughter plays softball on a special needs team.  And every single time someone picks up a bat, I am imagining what happened.  The force it would take.  The fact that it was his beloved daughter.  I mean, I try to be normal.  And I truly enjoy her games.  I get in the car, not thinking about Megs, drag my chair out to sit and watch.  And there goes that damned sunburned heart, getting scratched and hurting.

I would love to end this post with a nice little thought about how healed we all are.  But.  That will have to come later.  I pray it will.

Anniversary of a Tragedy

This post should have a disclaimer: Not for the faint of heart.  Violent, horrifying incident below.  Don't read if you can't take it.  I am writing it as my own kind of therapy.

Four years ago, May 9, everything about my life changed.  My mom called bright and early (my first clue something was seriously wrong...my mom is not a bright and early kinda gal.)  Her words didn't even make sense.  My dad was a couple hours away on business (Oh my...this was pre-dementia).  My mom said she needed me to hurry and pick her up.  "We have to go to the hospital because Kelly hit Megan with a baseball bat."

Megan was my 20 year old niece.  Their granddaughter.  Kelly was her father.  Is her father?  Does he get to maintain that title when he did that to her?

We talked as we drove the long 10 minutes to the ER.  "This must be a mistake."  "If he DID do that, it was an accident."  When we arrived, the staff told us the family was in a private waiting room.  Uh oh.  In that split second, before even entering, I knew it was true.  I knew it was bad.

The question I am always asked...Kelly, the father...is he my brother?  No.  Technically Megan was not blood-related to my parents and me.  But she is the half sister of my brother's kids.  You know how family goes.  Blood doesn't make them family, love does.  She was my niece.  She was my parent's granddaughter.

Most of the rest of that day is a bit blurry.  Thank God.  I have enough details that have stuck in my brain, I don't need the others.  I do remember being told she was beaten in the head and was unrecognizable.  I remember the neurosurgeon telling us he would do his best to save her brain and skull.  I remember a few hours later when he came back to say it didn't go well.  The word he described for her skull was "pulverized."  I remember making a few phone calls, trying to explain this unexplainable event.  Police.  Her friends and family arriving.  My dad saw her before the surgery, along with her mom.  He was always strong about those things.  I truly hope that one bright spot of his dementia is that he doesn't remember that moment.  I am too scared to ask him.  I remember coming home and falling apart in Brad's arms.  Like I couldn't stand and he had to catch me.  I don't mean crying.  I don't mean sobbing.  I mean FALLING.  APART.  While my children watched.  I couldn't help it.  I don't know if they remember that part. I am too scared to ask them.

I don't need to write about the gory details.  They are forever burned into my brain....how she looked with half a skull.  Even when some of the lesser wounds healed, she looked awful.  I can see that now in hindsight.  But at the time, when her head was all wrapped and she wasn't bruised anymore, we made the decision that our girls should see her.  She was about to be going to rehab...it was all set up.  This would be a part of our life, visiting and helping Megan.  So, yeah.  They saw her.  If I could take back anything I have done in my entire life, it would be that.  So on top of the awfulness of the beating and death, I have the enormous weight of guilt.  This ain't your typical "Mom Guilt," let me tell you.

It was almost 3 months later when she passed away.  There were so many surgeries.  A horrible infection that meant we had to wear gowns, gloves, masks to protect us.  There was a move to a more specialized hospital. There was an outpouring of love from friends, family and the entire community.  This story was, unfortunately, on the news and in the papers.  It was oddly comforting to have strangers post their kind words on the Facebook page for Megs.  (It was also freaking unreal when a few of them somehow found me on FB and messaged me, asking for details of the crime.  What.  The. Heck.)  There was a wonderful woman from Kensington, our church, who never met any of us before.  Didn't know Megan.  But she came and sat for hours a week with Megan and prayed over her.  I am telling you, most people would run away in tears to see a person in this condition.  But not Janet.  That was a good thing that came out of this.  To see how good some people are and try to forget how evil this man is.

I was MIA as a parent for those 3 months.  Even when I was home, I wasn't present.  I don't even know how everyone got everywhere and how/what they ate.  Just pile on a little more guilt, it doesn't even matter at this point.

Funerals are not fun.  Funerals for young people are just indescribable.  It was a nice service, but seeing all her friends, who just seemed like kids....it was a bit much.

On that day, May 9, we basically lost Megan.  Because she never regained consciousness.  But we lost Kelly, too.  He was her dad and was a part of our life.  He was the only dad my other niece and my nephew knew since my brother died when they were just babies.  He was our loved one, too.  He may be physically alive, but that day, we lost him by choice.  This was a hard thing to deal with, too.  Just a couple weeks earlier on Easter, he and Megan sat together on our deck and watched all the little kids play on our trampoline.  At this point, I don't care about the loss of him in our life.  But at the time, it was a strange and difficult thing.  When someone you care about commits a horrendous crime, well, it was something I had never experienced before.

For the past 4 years, we have endured  the effects of this.  To lose a 20 year old relative is never, ever easy.  But the circumstances of her death, her murder, it's just unbearable.  My children were too young to process this.  There has been much therapy around here for us all.  I don't doubt there will be more to come.  There is all the typical grief stuff...thinking about the things she will never do, never see.  That we won't see her again on this earth.  Add to that the fact that she was brutally beaten, survived in a horrendous state for 3 months, all at the hand of her own father, and you can maybe begin to feel our pain in your heart.

I still struggle with this event and my faith.  Not in the way you might think.  I never thought "God, why did you let this happen?"  My struggle is more about what God thinks of me. Because I have had some dark thoughts about Kelly.  How can I be a good Christian and hope with all my being that someone dies because I hate him?  I am working on this, and I don't have those thoughts too often anymore.  In fact, when I think about the fact that he was beaten in prison and sent to the infirmary, I have no pleasure.  I don't feel sorry for him, I just didn't feel happy like I thought I would.  So maybe that shows some promise for me.

We lost something else that day.  The childhood innocence of our girls.  This was the kind of story I would have hidden from them.  I was never really a news watcher, but I would not have let them know that this kind of evil exists in the world.  Now I couldn't hide it.  How do I recover from everything he has stolen from me?  I am still figuring out if it's even possible.

There is so much more in my head about this situation.  I can't even explain why writing this helps me.  It's like it builds up inside and I will explode if I don't get it out.  It's a relief to do so. 

Now I just want to stare at her gorgeousness for a few minutes, if you don't mind.  She was beautiful, inside and out.  Megs will never be forgotten!

Missing

March 8, 2015

Dementia sucks.

My Dad has vascular dementia.  Apparently he had a bunch of mini strokes that we never knew about until it showed up this way.

He looks like my Dad.  His voice is the same.  But my Dad is missing.

To a stranger it may not be noticeable.  He can still chime in on a conversation and make sense.  But many times, he doesn't make sense.

A recent incident involved him throwing away my Mom's calender.  For a second time.  He did it once, she had to go through and figure out all the appointments and dates again and add them to a new calender.  So when he threw that one out, too, it was more than a bit frustrating.  "Why did you DO that?" she asked.  "Because you didn't put my stuff on there anyway."  I mean, it makes no sense.  He just told my Mom that he can't wait for his new phone to get activated so he can get more eye drops.  Sometimes we just have to laugh.

Sometimes he makes us laugh on purpose!  He likes me to take his picture and "put it on your internet!"

He always did have a great sense of humor!

But sometimes it's hard to laugh.  When he tells me for the 539th time that he got new glasses, it just makes me sad.  It's not annoying, it's just that he wasn't like that before a few years ago.  He was a man of few words.  He thought about things before he said them.  He just didn't do this before.  So it's a constant reminder that his brain is not the same.

He was over last week with my Mom to meet Lea's bus after school.  In a matter of minutes, he opened my package that contained my essential oils I had just ordered.  In fact, because this specific oil had been out of stock for so long, the ordering was weird, and I had to stay up until 1 am to get these suckers.  He opened my box, took 2 of the 4 bottles.  Then he went upstairs to our bathroom where I keep my large stash of oils on a rack.  He took 4 large bottles of my precious oils, including one that was brand new and cost $75.  The total for everything was about $300.  If you know me at all, you KNOW how I feel about my oils.  We still have not found any of them.  He went in my closet (again, not something the REAL Doug would have done) so maybe I will still find them in a pocket or a shoe.

As I laid in bed a few nights after this, feeling so angry about my missing oils, I realized it's not the oils that I am so upset about being gone. It's my Dad.  His personality.  This is also just a reminder that he is not there anymore.

I am not saying that losing someone to death is easy.  I have been through a lot of that as well.  What I am saying is that my Dad, my actual DAD, has already passed away.  And yet there is this person who looks like him, sounds like him that we have to deal with and take care of.  This guy often says mean things, though.  Mostly to my Mom.  When I hear this stuff he says, it's like a knife in the heart.  He always was a truth giver.  A speak the truth in love kind of guy.  But some of the things he says now are not true, not said in love.

He was my go-to guy for spiritual advice.  Any questions about the Bible or Jesus, my Dad was the man.  Now I don't know what he knows or thinks about Jesus.  To be honest, I am scared to ask, in case that is missing, too.  It was always something I admired about him.

There are some feel-good moments, too!  It's not all bad.  Yesterday, Brad and I were taking him to Target to get some new phones set up to save them some money.  He was putting on his coat and got choked up.  I mean, literally.  He was choking on tears.  He said "I'm gonna cry!"  I said "Why?" He said "I just love you so much!"

OK.  This is new.  But a good new!  I always knew he loved me.  But he says it now a lot!  And cries about it.  And appreciates us and tells us so!  He still knows I am his daughter.  This disease is not curable or reversible.  So I know he won't always know me.  Once the nastiness and "borrowing" things is gone, this may be gone, too.  So I will try to laugh about my missing oils.  I will just buy more.  I will take every hug and kiss he wants to give me, which is a lot.

Because it won't be long until that is missing, too.

The blessings of 2014!

Whoa, what a year!  We have had some incredible blessings in our family!  Here is a brief (?) look!

* Lainie took her first classes at Oakland Community College!  Yes, I took her picture on her first day of school in January.  Doesn't every mom do that for college?  (In my defense, she WAS only 16.)

Not embarrassed at all.

* Lainie got her Driver's License this year!  This has meant freedom for her (and me!).  She also helps out by taking Lea places.

* Lea attended the 2nd annual Shine dance at our church, Kensington.  It's a very fancy prom-type dance for people with special needs.  She had a blast and looked absolutely beautiful!!

With her BFF and caregiver Claudine.  I love their relationship!

* Lainie was in another play in the spring.  She played Audrey in As You Like It, as well as an adorable random party-goer.

We are proud of our Drama Queen!

* Lainie and I attended a women's retreat with Kensington.  We had a great time connecting with Christ and each other!  We made some great friends.

* Another chance for Lea to dress up!  Her school banquet was lots of fun.  She got to ride around in a limo bus and have a great banquet meal and dance.

* Lainie, Brad and his sister Tamasin and her hubs Terry did a crazy race!  They got a bit dirty, but had a terrific time. They had to carry Lainie, manhole covers, go through an obstacle course.  A great accomplishment!

* Lea spent a week at Camp Skyline!  It's one of her favorite things in the world!

With her roommate Anna.  They have been roomies for 2 summers!

* It wasn't all good.  A drunk driver rear-ended Lainie who was driving with her friend.  Thank God they were alright!  Her car, however, was a different story.  She still misses it.

Trunk wouldn't closed.  Car all smooshed.

* Brad did yet another race!  This one was him, Tamasin and Terry again.  They had to bike, orienteer, canoe then bike some more.  It was brutal but he was really glad he did it!

They were less smiley at the end.

* My Young Living Essential Oils business really took off!  I love these oils and what they have done for our family.  Better health naturally!  My first year in 25 years with zero allergy meds!  That is just one small part of it.  I don't really "sell" these oils, I share my story.  They sell themselves.  I hit a pretty big goal which is called Silver In 6.  Because of this, Young Living sent me an oil kit with over 120 oils, free!  We were just dying when it came.

* And more on the oil front.  I did something VERY unlike me.  I went to the YL convention in Salt Lake City, Utah.  Let me tell you something, Folks.  On a scale of 1 to 10, my sense of adventure is a minus 17.  Flying alone.  New place alone.  Staying in a house full of strangers.  All a big deal for me.  But I had an amazing time.  I learned SO much about oils, leadership, friendship, YL.  The pictures from that week alone could fill a blog (hey....good idea.)  Just a few highlights:

I won a major award, haha

Got to spend time with my awesome SIL Tamasin, aka TaTa

Here we are looking gorge by a fountain at a cool mall

I must include at least one shot of Pat Monahan from Train.  They performed for our convention and we were so close!  It was an amazing night.

Visiting the farm in Mona, Utah was a definite highlight of the week.  I planted lavender!

Ahh Maze Ing

I really loved SLC.  I can't wait to return next June!  It's all part of that Silver thing, and YL will pay for me this time!

* The day after I got home, Brad and I saw one of our fave bands, Neon Trees.  We saw them 2 years ago in Paris and they are just so freaking awesome!

* We got to spend some time at our friends' cottage in Gladwin on a lake we really love.  

We love it so much, look what happened!  We tried to buy this same little cabin last year but it didn't work out.  This year, it came back on the market.  So we bought it!  It took a couple of months for it all to come together.  So we just boated past and dreamed about the day it would be ours.

* Lea played softball!  She had a great time and learned a lot.  She had fun with her friends.

* Lainie was in another play.  Love's Labour's Lost, Shakespeare again.  They did a sports theme, and she got to be a cheerleader for the first time!

Lea sold concessions.

Lainie played Rosaline.  Here she is with Berowne.  She had the greatest time with this role and production!!

With Grammy and Grampy

* So before we knew we were buying a cottage, we blew a wad on this vacation.  Just kidding about the blew it part!  It was worth every penny!  We went to a fave vacation spot, The Outer Banks of North Carolina.  This time we rented a house on the beach.  In the ocean.  We were in Rodanthe.  You can't beat this location.

I went swimming.  Every day.  Me.

Our silly girls, playing in the ocean together

This is not really a pic of our house or us.  It's a pic of our whacked out neighbors who didn't observe our personal space very well!  haha

Grandma T came with us!

Sitting on the deck of the master bedroom.  I could get used to this.

* What an amazing summer!  And this milestone happened!

Lea voted for the first time!

* Labor Day weekend was the greatest!  We got possession of our cabin!  OMG we love it.  Small, 2 bedrooms, but really perfect for our family.  We have dreamed of this for about 20 years!

The view from our deck in the evening.

Hey we have a pontoon boat!

Geronimo!

Many more campfires to come

Thanks, God, for this.  Wow.

* My nephew Chris got married!  It was a beautiful wedding in a park.  Jen did great considering she was in labor during the ceremony!

* Oops, it's our cottage again!  How did that happen?  We were able to spend many weekends up north.  So blessed!

Our pups LOVE it up here!

Bonus: we have even more friends on the lake! The big house with all the windows across the lake belongs to my parents BFFs.  

Our bud Susan over for a visit

Another boat ride?  Yes please.

* Chris and his new son, TJ!

* Lainie's friends threw her a suprise party!  17!!

* Lainie had her senior pictures taken.  How is this possible?  She was just born the other day.

* Ooops, another visit to the cottage?  Yep.

* Lea got tickets to Disney on Ice for her birthday!  She is 20!!

* Brad ran in the Detroit Marathon!  He did the half, 13.1 miles!  It goes from Detroit through Windsor and back to Detroit.  He raised money for Hope Water Project and helped bring clean water to people in Africa.  I am so proud!!

* We had the great pleasure of having a visit from our German friends the Schaefer's!!  Their daughter Anna is an exchange student in Wisconsin and they came across the pond to visit her.  And they visited us!  So they got to experience the marathon and our cottage!  It was so great to see them!

* Meanwhile, Lainie was on a cruise!  She went with some friends and their parents.  And she paid for it all by herself!  

Here she is, ziplining in Belize!

* Next up: I took a short trip to Chicago with some cool ladies!  It was another oil thang.  We had so much fun!  Well, THEY did for sure because they got to do a road trip with ME.  I am fabulous in the car.

* Another of those not-so-great moments: Lea had her wisdom teeth out.  This was NOT fun. She ended up with a dry socket which is a terribly painful complication.  Thank God that is over.

* Surprise, back up north!

Winter up north!  Pups hanging out and loving it.

* Hey!  Lainie was in a play!  Surprise!  Haha.  The play was called The Princess Who Had No Name and she played Snow White. In this play, Snow White was a Texan.  It was really cute!

With her friend Phoenix

* Uh oh, one of the worst moments of our year.  Lea was rushed to the emergency room by ambulance!  Thank God everything turned out ok.  But it was a long and scary night in the hospital.  She had a CT scan of her brain, echocardiograms, ultrasounds, blood work....the final diagnosis was that she was dehydrated and had a near-fainting spell.  She was fine the next day and has been fine since!  Thank God.

When we broke out!

* We were still able to see Lainie's last performance of this play.

*A cool thing happened at the play.  A lady from the admissions department of a local private college saw it and wanted to meet with Lainie.  We were very excited to hear more about them (Rochester College) and what they have to offer.  We all love it!  She definitely wants to apply there.

Flower strategically placed to protect the innocent.

* We had some really tough moments related to my Dad's dementia.  It's a, horrible, frustrating, devastating disease.  He does have many pleasant moments, though.  He still is a funny dude.

* Now here we sit on New Year's Eve at our happy place.  Tamwood.  We named our cottage after the cottage Brad grew up at with his family.  It's pretty cold up here!  -5 with wind chill.  But the fire is stoked, we have plenty of blankies and 2 warm doggies.  

And we have each other.  That is the greatest!  These people are the ones that make my world go round.  I can't wait to see what 2015 brings us!  New work/business ventures, school/college, cottage of course!  It's bound to be a great year!