The Ketchup Meltdown

Lea has been milk free for about 2 years now.  Eliminating milk has changed her life!  Her stomach problems disappeared.  Her nose is less stuffy.  She rarely gets the eczema that was always plaguing her.  Even her crabbiness that we attributed to being a teenage girl went away!  (Well, almost.)  These changes are why I am a Food Nazi, checking everything she eats.  Asking people we visit if I can read their packages and see their recipes.  You would, too, if it kept your kid safe.

She recently began having some more tummy aches.  Since people with Down syndrome have a 10% chance of getting Celiac disease in their life, I wanted to check it out.  Celiac is an inability to process the protein gluten which is found in wheat, barley and rye.  She has tested negative in the past, but the tests aren't always accurate, she tests negative for milk, too!  The doctor recommended going gluten free to see if her tummy gets better.

I have researched a gluten free diet in the past when we thought she may have Celiac. I have many, many friends who either have it, or have a sensitivity to gluten and don't eat it.  Since I already read every package, and eating at a restaurant or even a relative's house is already a nightmare, I figured I could handle being GF.  I know where gluten hides, so I can do it.  There are so many GF products available these days, it won't be too hard.  I am confident this will be easy.

Then I went shopping.  Lea rarely eats bread or toast, so that is no problem.  But what about snacks?  Especially those run out the door in a hurry ones?  I stood in Trader Joe's, staring.  The funny thing is, I was staring at the cheese!  I was so overwhelmed and starting to feel bad about taking away more of her favorite foods that I stood in the cheese section, eyes glazed over.  I snapped out of it.  Come on, Super Mom.  You CAN do this!  Lea isn't picky and is even excited to try some new foods!  Step away from the cheese.

I got her some dried fruit like strawberries.  She doesn't like most dried fruit.  But I bought it because I didn't know what else to buy.  I found some rice crackers that looked good.  Ok, confidence returning.  These are salt and pepper flavored, she will love these!  I stepped into the condiment section and saw some ketchup.  Mini panic attack.  Ketchup has vinegar which is made from grain, right?  Is that right?  OMGluten!  Lea LOVES ketchup.  Barbecue sauce is next to the ketchup.  Lea LOVES barbecue sauce!  No more ketchup or barbecue sauce?  She may as well never come out of her room.

I sat in the parking lot contemplating this.  All the things she can't have.  She is already so different without any food allergies!  It isn't fair.  It's hard to manage a food allergy, but for someone with special needs, it can be even harder.  She just wants to be like everyone else.  She does feel special when someone says "here, I made this just for you!" but watching everyone else eat birthday cake while she has something different is not fun for her.

By the time I got across the street to the Whole Foods parking lot, I was starting to tear up.  It's not fair, why Lea, why not me instead, how will we do family holiday stuff now?  My heart started pounding, my palms were sweaty.  I really didn't want to have a breakdown in the parking lot, so I called my friend Kim.  Celiac and gluten free for her and her kids for many years, Kim never cheats with gluten.  Never.  She is my expert.  Thank God she answered her phone.  "OMGosh, Kim, doesn't vinegar contain gluten?  Lea loves ketchup and I can't imagine taking it away from her!" I gushed.  She calmed me down and explained that most experts agree vinegar is gluten free.  They don't have a problem eating it.  Whew.  Ok, she talked me down some more and told me "You can do this.  It's hard at first but you'll be fine."  Whew again.

Only one more contact with Kim while in the store, and I was on my way.  Both Whole Foods and Trader Joe's gave me big huge lists of GF foods they carry.  I found many different granola bar type things and some pizza crust.  Pizza is what Lea is most worried about missing.  The GF pizza we have had in the past has been fine, but no wheat AND no cheese....well, we will see.

The thing I had to realize, right there in the parking lot, is that yes, this sucks.  But it's our reality now and it's time to move on and deal with it.  It will be worth it when Lea is pain-free!  Now I gotta go find a spot on the counter for Lea's GF toaster.

Too Social?

There is so much talk about social media.  With Lent just passed, there were many of my Facebook friends who gave up Facebook for Lent.  There are always people saying they need to get off FB, they spend too much time on there.  If you are one of those people, I'm sorry to be using you as an example here.

Facebook is called SOCIAL media for a reason: it's supposed to be social.  Being on FB and just lurking is like being at a party with tons of your friends, and you are just hiding in the corner, never joining in the conversation.  People have said to me "you are on there soooo much!"  "you are so bad!"  (I find it very funny that they say this....if you know I'm on there a lot, doesn't that mean YOU are on there a lot?  If not, how do you even know I'm on there a lot?)

So let's clear this up.  First off, for those of you who still have a dumb phone, let me explain.  I can look at FB, post on FB, take a picture and upload it to FB all in about 30 seconds.  Even if I do this 10 times a day, I have spent only 5 minutes, see?

I do not now nor have I ever thought FB was bad.  Sometimes bad things happen on FB, yes.  Admittedly, I get in FB fights from time to time.  This, I will admit, is not a good idea.  I must try to stop this.  Yes.

FB has brought me so many good things!  Here are just a few; some of you will recognize yourselves here!  I have been able to keep in touch with people I probably never would have spoken to after high school.  In fact, before FB, I had not spoken to them.  But now I see pictures of their kids, their vacations, their lives.  It's just like seeing someone in person: "What do you do?  Where do you live now?  Can I see pics of your kids?"  I have FB friends I can count on to be excited for me when I post good news.  And I am truly excited for theirs.  I have FB friends who I don't know if I ever even hung out with in high school that crack me up daily.  I have many friends who will send up prayers if I ask, just as I will when they ask.  And I really do, I don't just click "like."

When my niece was brutally attacked, the outpouring of love from my FB friends was amazing.  I had friends and their friends praying for her and our family, around here and all over the world!  How awesome is it that I hadn't spoken to my friend from high school in 20 some years, and she had her church in Japan praying for my niece?  How awesome is it that I "met" a wonderful woman through someone else's FB page as we were making fun of our mutual friend, and she has become my Sister in Christ and prayed for my niece with her church in Mexico?

I have been able to find out what my old college roomies have been doing.  And it was wonderful to see them last weekend, one local, one from California and one from Prague!  To see them and what they have become.  I would have missed out on this if it wasn't for FB!  Oh sure, we could keep in touch via email, phone, letters. But we don't.

I have been able to let others know about Down syndrome and how wonderful Lea is!  I have always had a feeling it's my job as her parent to let others know about it.  FB is a great way to do that.  I have talked a lot about homeschooling my girls and "met" some inspiring homeschool moms via FB that I never would have met in person.  (Still haven't met some of them in person!)  But we share ideas.  People have contacted me, knowing through FB that I homeschool, and have sent others my way with their questions in starting out.

So I stand by my Facebooking with no apologies.  I love my FB friends and they love me!  (And if you don't, you can just hide me.  I'll never know.)

My God

My God.  No, not OMG.  Literally, my God.  Do you know Him?  Due to a recent online "run in" with one of my Sisters In Christ, I was inspired to tell you about Him.

I barely know this woman who sent me an email stating that we as Christians should be more judgmental.  Now, I don't know if whoever is reading this is a Christian or not.  But either way, you are probably aware that we Christians have a reputation for being very judgmental.  The article she sent said, "We are told to tolerate the religious thinking of non-Christians, because every religion has an element of truth to it, and because salvation is not exclusively for Christians. We must also tolerate in our churches the sinful actions of others. It is not our business if an unmarried couple lives together! It is none of our business if a member of our congregation practices homosexuality! We must not judge them." The whole article is about how wrong this is...society tells us these things and we, as Christians, must stand up and judge those that would do such things. It also says, "We must cater to the whims and wishes of the feminists" as one of those bad things society is telling us. I replied asking her to please not send me these emails anymore and that it was offensive. Her response back? "The Bible says a lot of things that men find difficult to swallow." Implying, if not saying outright, that I just can't handle the truth.

Riled up, I started to rant on Facebook, as did some of my friends, also Christian. But I decided that wasn't a good venue for such a thing. Plus I have too much to say and it just won't fit on Facebook!

So here I am to tell you about my God. My Jesus. I am not going to throw scriptures at you. You have heard them all before. Taken out of context, you can find one to support any point of view. I am going to tell you about who He is to ME.

First, here is where I find Him, what He looks like:

I saw Him in the places above: Mexico, Hatteras Island, Smoky Mountains.  I see Him in my children and the rest of my family.  I see Him in the pictures of the faces of people Brad and Lainie met in Haiti.  I see Him in the face of a sweet, tiny baby in the church nursery who was born addicted to drugs.

I feel Him, too.  In the hugs from Brad and the girls.  In the kisses from my doggies.  At times I have felt Him so strongly, it was like a physical presence.  Like when tons of people in the church I grew up in laid their hands on my Mom in prayer before her breast cancer surgery.  Like when our then-minister prayed for me before some surgery of my own.  When a group of wonderful people surrounded my niece and prayed before removing her life support, letting her go.  I feel Him at almost every church service I attend at Kensington.  Enough that I cry there on a regular basis.  His presence overwhelms me!

This God of mine is full of grace, forgiveness, understanding.  He doesn't judge me and I don't believe He wants me to judge others.  People might make choices that I wouldn't make.  But that doesn't make me better than they are.  God forgives everyone, that is the best part!  My God is all about the LOVE.  He wouldn't want me to use my faith as a weapon against others.  He doesn't want me to preach hate, no matter the circumstances.  

I will pray for this woman, pray that maybe someday she can know MY God.

The Face Behind Your Jokes

This is a tough one for me to write.  There is so much pain, it is a physical thing for me.  My heart literally hurts.  When I hear or see someone use any version of the "R" word.  Retarded.  Retard.  Even the more politically correct terms like mentally challenged or cognitively impaired are being used in jokes.  I know you are trying to be funny when you say these things.  I know you think these terms are funny to hear, and you laugh.  I just want to put a face to your jokes.

Lea is 17 and has Down syndrome, as most of you know.  I have seen several awesome YouTube videos of people in their own campaigns against the "R" word.  You know the ones, where there is a good song playing, and the person holds up a series of index cards with messages on them.  They often say about their loved ones, "she is not retarded."  I know where they are coming from.  They have the same knife-in-the-heart feeling that I have when I hear the jokes.

But the truth is, Lea IS retarded.  Mental retardation just means it takes Lea longer to learn things.  And it means there are some things she probably will never learn.  There are things we have worked on for years, like math.  One day she can do quite well.  She can add and subtract 2 digit numbers.  The next day, she can't add 2 + 2.  This is not funny, this is not something to make fun of.  She does the very best she can and her brain just can't keep certain things in it.  It does NOT mean Lea is stupid.  I know what you are thinking.  "Of course Lea isn't stupid!  I never said she is stupid, or anyone with a disability!"  But when you tell the jokes, when you forward them along in an email, when you post it on Facebook or when you refer to someone or something that IS stupid as retarded, you are calling Lea stupid.  By using the word retarded in a negative fashion, you bring Lea down.

I stand up for Lea all the time.  I have even scolded, if you will, a Kroger employee who was putting chips on a shelf because he called down the aisle to the other employee that the chips looked so retarded the way he was doing it.  I spoke to the owner of a Hallmark store when her employee yelled across the store about something that looked so retarded.  I have asked friends (hopefully without scolding!) to please not use that term, at least around our family.  I know it would be asking a lot for people to start doing the same.  To tell someone who jokingly calls someone a retard that it hurts.  "I love someone who is mentally challenged.  That term is hurtful."  But I wonder, will anyone reading this at least change their own views of how funny this word is?  Will anyone at the very least not laugh at the jokes?  Will anyone choose to never use these terms in a negative way?  Will anyone not joke about "the short bus?"  Will anyone look at Lea's beautiful, laughing face above and remember her when the term is used?  Will anyone at all share this blog with others?  I hope so, with all of my heart!

Lea may be mentally challenged.  But I tell you one thing: she would never purposely hurt your feelings by making fun of you!  That is one of the amazing things about Lea, and all of the people I have met over the years with challenges.  They are so full of love!  Lea has been made fun of by other kids.  She may get sad for about a minute, but then she is full of forgiveness.  "I still like her, Mommy.  It's ok."  SHE has to comfort ME in these situations!  I wish I could blow it off like she does.  But I can't, so I do what I can as her Mommy to try to make people understand.

Up and Down Syndrome

Being the Mom of a kid with Down syndrome has so many facets.  Ups and downs daily.  Sometimes hourly.  Right now I am focused on these teenage years.

Let's take a look at yesterday, for example.  I had to wake her up at 9:30 (quite a change from her early years!) She has a certain routine and absolutely can not continue with her day if it doesn't go just right.  "You need to refill my pills please" she says.  I tell her I will in a minute, why not get dressed first while I finish up?  Nope, not gonna happen.  Impossible.  So she stands there staring at me, following me around, until I get her pill case refilled.  Then she can do her bathroom stuff and get dressed.

She comes down to eat breakfast, which is the first "food fight" of the day. No, she didn't throw it at me.  She wanted to eat her leftover pizza.  But she wanted to eat all 3 pieces left and we had to have a discussion about not eating too much.  Again.  Every meal.  Lea, like many people with DS, doesn't have the thing in her tummy that tells her brain she is full.  I don't know if there is a medical term for this, but she will not feel full until her stomach is so full that it hurts.  I told her to eat 2 pieces, so she picked the huge piece and a small one.  More discussion.  I told her to pick either the big one or the 2 small ones.  2 small ones it is.

On to her counseling appointment.  She has been in therapy for a few months since her cousin was killed.  She loves these appointments and they have helped tremendously with her nightmares and ability to cope.  The therapist asked me to be sure we don't talk about the person who killed Megan at all...no mention of his name (he was a loved one...was.)  No mention of the upcoming trial, don't even tell her we are going.  The way her brain works, it is just not possible for her to process any more information about this man.  This tragedy has caused our entire family incredible pain, but for Lea, it's unbearable.

A few errands: getting gas.  While I am pumping gas, she puts in one of our Taylor Swift cd's and sings so loudly I can hear her from outside the car.  And dances in her seat so that she is shaking the car.  She doesn't care who is watching!   Next stop is Target to return a Webkinz we got with no tag.  As we are looking for a new one, she gets distracted by the Barbie aisle.  I have to drag her away.  She has loved Barbies since she was about 3.  She finds a Victorious Barbie (from a TV show) that sings the theme song.  Her face lights up, she sings along LOUDLY and dances in the aisle, again, without regard for anyone who might see her.  I wish I had some of that!  Even on a dance floor at a wedding, I am self-conscious!  And I am supposed to be dancing!

On the way home, we talk about Lainie and how she always has sleepovers.  "I need a sleepover, Mommy."  We talk about how sometimes a sleepover sounds like a good idea, but when she gets tired, sometimes it is hard to be out of her routine.  And not in her own room, all alone, with no one's breathing to bug her (yes, this happens).  Truth is she just doesn't have many friends.  There are a lot of people who would consider her their friend, for sure, but not sleepover-type friends.  Many of the kids she hangs out with are younger, because she really is younger cognitively than 17.  Other 17 year old girls wouldn't be caught dead playing Barbie's.  She used to look forward to sleepovers with Grandma Karen, but Grandma and Granddad live with us now.  So she gets to spend lots of great time with them, but sleepovers don't really work in your own house!  On the up side, she was just asked tonight to sleep over at her "friends'" house.  I put "friend" in quotations because Claudine is close to my age!  She has a sister out of state with DS and fell in love with Lea at first sight.  So even if she isn't a teenage girl, Lea has a blast over there and Claudine and her family treat Lea like a princess!  Her face lit up tonight as Claudine was leaving.  "See you Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she said.  Last time she slept good and it all went well.  Before that, she kept Claudine and her son Dawson up almost all night!

She also has had a great bond with our friend Denise.  They hit it off right off the bat.  Denise has even had Lea come over to hang out.  Lea doesn't think of Denise as someone's Grandma.  To Lea, she is just a friend!  And to Lea, friends can come in all shapes and sizes and ages.  You don't have to be 17 to be her BFF.

So we got home and had lunch and then she read her Wimpy Kid book to me.  She likes to read her favorite books over and over.  She also will look at photos until the cows come home.  Honestly, I get so bored sitting hearing the same books and looking at the same photos over and over.  My Mom, Grandma Karen, will do this with Lea for sooooo long.  I need some of that patience!

We went to her riding therapy.  This is often a crap shoot.  She usually does pretty well, but sometimes she gets freaked out and cries.  While Miss Stacy got the horse ready, Lea straightened up the arena.  Someone had been using cones and poles while riding.  Lea could easily ride around this stuff, it isn't in the way of where she rides.  But she can not leave it there.  She drags all the stuff over to the side because it just doesn't go there.  She got her usual horse, Mike, whom she loves.  He is slow and listens to her very well.  She walked him around, talking to him as usual.  I can't always hear what she tells him, but I always hear her praising him.  "That's good, Baby!  Good job" in a high pitched voice.  She walked, then trotted while posting, all while building up her core muscles.  She then did lots of cantering.  At one point, her hand was in the air as she was cracking up and saying "WEEEEEEEEE!"  My heart fills with pride and joy watching her do this.

She talks about dinner on the way home.  Her first question every morning is "what's for dinner?"  Last night was a Trader Joe's Chinese food meal that we had a sample of.  She was really looking forward to that one.  We again had a food discussion because she wanted to eat more than necessary.  We have had the same discussion 2 other times today, plus for the last 15 years.  Every day, every meal.  Every snack.  *sigh*

She cleans up after dinner, one of her jobs around the house.  She puts the dishes in the dishwasher and doesn't want any help.  She likes to put them in a certain way.  She will, however, accept help with the hand washables.  She will get ready for bed as soon as humanly possible after dinner.  Sometimes she calls her jammies her "lounge clothes."  But we all know they are jammies!  She gets her water, her DVD player and her popcorn.  I make homemade popcorn and she will get her bowl ready and next to her DVD player an hour early.  She will watch her episodes of favorite TV shows that she has seen at least 50 times each.  She has the lines memorized, yet still cracks up soooo loudly at the funny parts!

Bedtime, and another routine that can not be messed up begins.  Getting her bed just right with certain pillows and blankets in certain spots.  Medicine, teeth, read a book.  If I don't close her door all the way, she will get up and slam it saying "all the way!"

This is just one day, but most days are similar.  That is how Lea needs it to be.  There are many things about raising a kid with DS that are hard, tedious even, and that make me weary.  But the ups far outweigh the downs!  That losing-all-control laugh gets us all going!  And she is the sweetest, most sensitive soul around.  She is always the first to give out hugs.  Her challenges can be hard to work around, but I wouldn't change her for the world.

Danny Cox Day

Many of you who are my Facebook friends know of our family's love of Danny Cox.  Especially Lea!  Danny works for Kensington Community Church, something in arts and music.  I don't know his official title.  But I know he has a lot to do with planning the services that we love so much.  He also has a CD called In All Things that is one of our favorites Of All Time.

But let me set the record straight: I do not like Christian music.  Sure, in church, wrapped up in the moment.  A good rockin' version of Mighty To Save can bring tears to my eyes.  But when I try to listen to the Christian radio station or a CD, I don't know what happens.  My thoughts wander, instead of focusing on the words I find myself thinking, "this sounds second rate."  So I flip on some REAL music.

But a little while back, Kensington was promoting a new CD released by Danny Cox, all original music.  We had heard him and knew he was good, but to be honest, my intention with buying the CD was to be supportive of a fellow KCC member.  As I listened to it, something strange happened.  I could feel God around me, I could feel His presence.  We ended up listening to it in the car quite a bit and the kids liked it, too.  After some time, Lea started requesting it when we were driving.  She loves to sing and soon had learned most of his words and was able to sing along.  Loudly.

One thing Lea never realized is that Danny does go to and work at our church!  One day when I picked her up from her homeschool classes at our Troy campus, this was our conversation:  Me: "Lea, guess who I just saw!!!!"  Lea: "Who?"  Me: "Danny Cox!!!"  Lea: (said like I am a complete lying fool) "Mommy.  Come on."  I had to try to explain that he works there, and while he has a great CD, he isn't really a big worldwide star.

Now for the stalker part of the story.  I attended KCC's women's retreat with my amazing friend Susan.  I was totally freaked out when Danny himself walked out to perform for us all weekend!  I, of course, was singing along as I, of course, know all the lyrics.  The next day, I decided I would just die if I didn't say HI and get a picture of him for Lea.  (And maybe for me, so what?)  So I went up and told him about Lea and that she loves him as an artist and thinks he is a big, huge star.  I asked if I could get a picture with him and Susan took it for us.  Danny said he would love to meet Lea sometime.  OMG.  That would be sooooo great!   (I didn't say that, though.  I played it cool, said "Oh, sure.  That sounds good.  Whatevah.")  Then I proceeded to follow him into the hallway and discuss Christian music.  Which, as I already explained, I don't like.  It was interesting that he said he didn't like much of it either!  I was hoping to see him in our eating area for a meal where I planned to casually sit at his table, but he never showed.

So I showed Lea the picture and told her Danny said he would love to meet her.  She was so excited!  But life goes on and we never ran into him at our campus of KCC.

Jump forward a few months.  Our family had experienced the horrible tragedy of my niece Megan's death.  The circumstances surrounding her untimely death are too horrible to share here, although many of you know the story.  We all had and continue to have a very hard time processing this.  Lea especially.  Again, without lots of details, what I can share is that she has horrible nightmares and is very scared that this could happen to her.  She barely played Barbies anymore and never wanted to be alone.  She started following me to the laundry room, the bathroom, my closet.  She started coming with me on every errand, even when she didn't have to.  She was truly so sad.  I wanted to do anything I could to bring her some happiness.  One day as we were driving and she was having a bad/sad moment, we were listening to Danny's CD.  I remembered (or God reminded me!) of our conversation at the retreat.  I thought, "Oh yes, I've got it!"  So I asked her if she would like to meet any rock stars to make her happy!  "Ooooo, how about Billy Joel!"  Crap, that didn't go as planned.  I explained that I didn't have any way to contact Billy Joel, but I could get a hold of Danny Cox! "Oh yeah!" she said excitedly!

So I began trying to contact Danny.  I started off my email with something like, "Yeah, remember me?  The stalker from the retreat?  My daughter wants to meet you!"  He did remember, and he was so gracious.  He said we could meet for sure!  Time got away again and we never set up a date.  Lea's sadness continued so I did what any loving mother would do and emailed him again!  This time we set it up.  We were going to meet at KCC at his office for about an hour.

Lea prepared in advance by making some crafts for Danny: a painting with his initials on it and a melty bead creation (you know, the kind you run a hot iron over to make it stick to itself?)  She also prepared some interview questions and poems.  She told me "He isn't just a rock star, Mommy.  He is a wisdom guy."  She wanted to talk to him about Megan.  She got all dressed up and got her little pink guitar ready to go.  But she told me, "I am not going to be a crazy fan."  We waited in the lobby:

We eventually found him after some confusion and hung out in his office.  Lea gave him her gifts which he was very fond of.  She started off with the interview questions.  She sat in rapt attention listening to his answers.

Then she read him a poem she wrote about him.  It talks about how he is a star and her light.  I thought I would burst into tears!  But then she read another poem about vampires and blood, so the tears went away.  I didn't even know she ever wrote a poem about vampires.  But it wasn't the good kind like Edward.  She hasn't even seen Twilight!  Anyway, she got to play his guitar:

Then he signed hers!  She was so excited.

Then came the best part.  Our own private concert!  Lainie and I took pictures and videos so we could remember this forever!  Lea requested her favorite song, In All Things.  You can see the joy on her face as she looks at her guitar with his signature at the 2 minute mark!  (Danny later told me he was touched when she started singing along.)  The second song he did for us was one he chose, Father Of Lights.  This was a God moment for me without a doubt.  That was one of the songs that I listened to every single time I went to and from the hospital to see Megs.  I played it over and over again, several times in a row.  "We know our hearts can sometimes feel doubt.  We lose our faith when your face fades out.  Come to us now, Lord, show us your face, 'cause your shine heals all that aches."  I would sing so loudly, alone in my car, but always, ALWAYS teared up thinking about how His shine heals all that aches.  So to hear this song in person made this a Danny Cox day for me as well!  (Maybe I really am a stalker!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upEDIckTK3Q

So that was Lea's special day!  She talked about it a lot.  This made her so very happy and I am forever grateful to Danny for allowing us this time with him.  She still has sadness and confusion over Megan's death.  But she also has the memory of this day, one of the most special of her life!!

The greatest thing I ever stole

I LOVE Christmas time!  So many people complain about the commercialism.  I have never understood that.  I love the lights, the decorations, the baking, the tree, seeing friends and family and of course, the presents!  I wonder if people complain because they are too stressed trying to make it all perfect?  Our Christmas is never perfect.  Our tree is overloaded with at least 100 ornaments too many.  I rarely put bows on the packages.  If there are too many items on our menu, I take some off or make easier versions.  (It really IS ok to serve store-bought cookies, you know.)  My house is never spotless, no matter how hard I try.  I shop ahead of time so I don't miss out on what I want to buy.  (Christmas comes on Dec. 25 each year, people!  Why are so many always surprised?  LOL!)

But I just don't focus on perfection because that is not what the holiday is about.  What it's about is seen in something I stole a few years back.

I used to attend a women's small group at a church and one year at this time we were sharing traditions with each other.  One of my faves from when my babies were babies is we give them a present on Christmas Eve every year.  It is always new Christmas jammies.  This isn't entirely for the kids, though.  It's so my Christmas Day pictures look that much better!  Who wants to look back in a few years and see syrup stains in the pics of the kids opening gifts?  Plus when they were little and I could dress them, they always matched :)

When it was my friend Jodi's turn, she talked about their tradition with 3 daughters of baking Jesus a birthday cake on Christmas Eve.  They worked on it together and all helped decorate.  Later that night, Santa would receive a piece of the cake instead of cookies by the fireplace.

So I stole that idea and it is now one of our traditions.

Here is last year's cake!

This tradition helps us to keep focused on the real reason for the season:  Christ's birth.  The presents are fun and I love it all from buying to wrapping to giving.  But it's not about that.  The lights outside and on the Christmas trees remind me of the light He brought to the world.  The togetherness and laughter represent the love He wants us to share!  He doesn't want us to be stressed over the perfect cookies or cake.  I mean, does that cake look perfect to you?  If you saw that in the bakery case, you would probably laugh!  But it's perfect to us because of the time spent together creating it.  My hope is to pass along my love of the season with all it's imperfections.  I hope they never stress about it.  I hope they will love each ornament that comes back out of the box, and continue to love counting down the days with advent calendars.  I hope they will always make Jesus a birthday cake, even with their own little ones!  I can't wait!